BURGER KING: WHOPPERITO
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Let's not fart around with this intro. BK deserves to take a royal walk of shame Cersei-style. And I'm just the Septa to take it on this stroll down shit avenue! No, it's not for sticking "-ito" on the end of "Whopper", although I do picture Peggy Olson crying into her pillow when I consider that marketing decision. It's for an offense much, much more serious than that. WHERE ARE MY WHOPPER DOGS?! Of course we know from the commercials the King is a diabolical sociopath, but this is some next level fuckery. On the heels of the dismal review I had assigned to the Extra-Long Buttery Cheeseburger , I turned around and awarded the Whopper Dog an A+ , the only item I've given that grade to in nearly a year of fair and balanced food-bloggery. And then, just before I could have a second bite, the King slapped it out of my hands and the Whopper Dog bit the dust. DAMN IT, KING! YOU HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE THEN YOU KICKED THE DOG OUT AND HEAD