Fatly Foods For Guy

Let's not fart around with this intro. BK deserves to take a royal walk of shame Cersei-style. And I'm just the Septa to take it on this stroll down shit avenue! No, it's not for sticking "-ito" on the end of "Whopper", although I do picture Peggy Olson crying into her pillow when I consider that marketing decision. It's for an offense much, much more serious than that. WHERE ARE MY WHOPPER DOGS?! Of course we know from the commercials the King is a diabolical sociopath, but this is some next level fuckery. On the heels of the dismal review I had assigned to the Extra-Long Buttery Cheeseburger , I turned around and awarded the Whopper Dog an A+ , the only item I've given that grade to in nearly a year of fair and balanced food-bloggery. And then, just before I could have a second bite, the King slapped it out of my hands and the Whopper Dog bit the dust. DAMN IT, KING! YOU HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE THEN YOU KICKED THE DOG OUT AND HEAD...

Now admittedly, I had grand designs to sample a bunch of pizza places being deemed as �the best� in NY and it�s boroughs, and do a comparison. This did not happen. There�s only so much heartburn and loose stools one man can take. Besides, in a city as large as New York, with all the hipster, ironic niche food shops opening up everywhere, I couldn�t limit myself to that much pizza: I passed a place called Pom Frites that only does French fries (with a ton of different toppings), right next to a place that only does crepes, right next to a place that only does bizarre ice cream, next to a place� you get the idea. First thing I MUST say is that New York pizza kinda sucks. Now, I�m not saying it�s AWFUL pizza across the board, but I�ve never had any that�s really blown me away. Obviously it�s impossible to try ALL the pizza places in NYC (half of them would shut down, and new ones open up, before you even got through the list). And I�m sure there�s someone reading this (fuming) going �Then...

Oreo please! Just RELAX! It's too much! These days it seems like there's a new flavor of Oreo out every few weeks. And with word on the wind of the fabled Swedish Fish Oreos, Fat Guy Food Bloggers around the globe are simultaneously begging you to stop, whilst pleading for more. So as we pump the breaks, and bring you this Jurassic sized 2 cookie review, (just kidding, my reviews are picture heavy and sparse with any real content) sit back, relax, breathe, and let my mouth do the tasting for you. As the blog title suggests, I'm about to review Key Lime Pie Oreo, and the little less grammatically pleasing, Choco Chip Oreo. Let's sit down and get what you think would be the lesser of the two out of the way, Key Lime Pie. Peeling back the top of this cookie bag, the room flooded with that sweet, limey thickness that can only really be described as... Key Lime Pie. I'm convinced Oreo should team up with Bath & Body Works, get their lead scent designers together to i...

Summer! It's that very special time of the year when our climate most closely resembles that of Hell. In Boston, [at the time of this writing] temps have been consistently in the mid-90s with 50-75% humidity. Some people don't mind it, personally, I can't stand it. I've lived in New England my whole life so I'll take Hoth over Tatooine any day. The constant swelter makes me uncomfortable, irritable, and constantly drained. (People from other parts of the US are probably thinking "Hey, that's how New Englanders always are!")  Everybody's all sweaty, the beach is overcrowded, and any time-off from work approaches like the event horizon of a black hole. And frustratingly, at times, the heat can even make some of my favorite foods like burgers and pizza seem heavy or repulsive. That's a legit problem for a guy who writes for a blog that's mostly about junk food. Well thank heavens the pride and joy of Massachusetts, Dunkin' Donuts , has a p...